Imagine that you awaken to find a very large present waiting for you. It is wrapped in colorful paper and tied with a lovely bow. There are flowers on top and everything about this present is just beautiful. But you don’t open it. You go about your day, knowing that the gift is there but thinking that the right time to open it has simply not arrived. Days go by and the present remains unopened. You rationalize that you are too busy to open it, or that you probably won’t like it anyway. Soon the present gets put into the closet and is forgotten. A full year goes by and you open the closet to find something and there you see the present again. You rationalize again, “It probably wasn’t for me anyway. Why would I get such a special present? I am not really worthy to receive this.” The unopened gift is shoved deeper into the closet. And so it goes on and on. Perhaps it never gets opened.
When I was a junior and senior in college I attended the Columbia University School of Nursing in New York City. At the time the Columbia Medical Center was the largest in the country. My most memorable time in nursing school was the five month rotation through OB. In any given day I was witness to at least 6-8 births, an average of 100 births a month. The medical center treated mostly the poorest of the poor, some middle class as well as some wealthier private patients. Some of these babies were coming to mothers who did not want them. These mothers already had 8 or more children at home and couldn’t provide for the ones they already had. There were also babies born to mothers who were so addicted to drugs they hardly knew what was happening to them. Some of these mothers would scream out, “Just get this out of me. I never want to see it. I don’t want this baby.” Some of these mothers upon giving birth would change their minds and want to hold the baby, other mothers looked away and just wanted the baby taken away. Some mothers dearly wanted their babies, and many did not. What I found so remarkable was that no matter if a mother wanted her baby or didn’t, there was a beautiful presence of love that seemed to surround each baby as it was born. At age 20, I was not a new age type person. I had never heard of auras, energy fields or other metaphysical phenomena. I was young, rather simple and a serious student strictly adhering to what I could learn from the text books. But even in my inexperienced world, I could still feel this unseen love come and surround each baby that was born. It didn’t matter whether the baby was “perfect” in body or had deformities. Each baby, whether welcomed by its mom or not, perfect or not, experienced the very same welcoming unseen love the very second it was born. Tears would flow out of my eyes and I felt moved every time. Looking around the room I noticed the other nursing and medical students had tears as well, even a few of the seasoned doctors and nurses shed a few tears. It was just so moving to experience this miracle, this heavenly love surrounding the newborn baby.
This love is our birth right. It was given to each of us the moment of our birth. This is the greatest present that we can ever receive, the specially-wrapped present that we put off opening. We did not have to do anything to deserve this love, the greatest present of all. It was just given to us the very moment we entered this world. It was not about being good, or perfect or wanted. It was given to let us know how loved we are and how welcomed we are to this world.
My mother’s oldest sister, Dora, came to this country from Sweden. She had to leave school after 7th grade in order to work to help support the family of eight children whose mother died giving birth to the eighth baby. She was a housecleaner her entire life. She never married or had children and was a very simple person who spoke very little. Though she hardly ever spoke, there were a few things she repeated often. When I was a child I would see Aunt Dora at least once a week. She always asked me the same thing in the same words regardless of what time of year it was. “Joyce, are you being good? If you don’t be good you will only get coal in your stocking at Christmas.” This was something I grew up with. Be good, or else there are bad consequences. I expanded that phrase into all aspects of my life. If I am not good, the love will be taken away. At some time in my 20’s I learned that love is not conditional on our being good or perfect. We are loved because of the beautiful person we all are inside, not because of how we perform or do well. We are loved because we are all children of our great creator. There is nothing that has ever happened that can take away that love. The gift of love is permanent.
I invite us all to open the closet of our being and take out that greatest of all presents, the unconditional love that is the birthright given to us the very moment we entered this world. Opening this present can be the work of a life time, and the most valuable thing we can be doing, to truly get that we are loved and are loveable.
Joyce and Barry Vissell, a nurse and medical doctor couple since 1964 whose medicine is now love, are the authors of The Shared Heart, Models of Love, Risk To Be Healed, The Heart’s Wisdom and Meant To Be.
Call TOLL-FREE 1-800-766-0629 (locally 831-684-2299) or write to the Shared Heart Foundation, P.O. Box 2140, Aptos, CA 95001, for free newsletter from Barry and Joyce, further information on counseling sessions by phone or in person, their books, recordings or their schedule of talks and workshops. Visit their web site at SharedHeart.org for their free monthly e-heartletter, their updated schedule, and inspiring past articles on many topics about relationship and living from the heart.
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