Living With Passion and Enthusiasm

Our golden retriever Charley has taught us a lot about life. When he was a younger dog we would take him for long walks along the beach. He assumed that each person on the beach would like nothing more than to give him a pet. He would run up to people, sit down politely and wag his tail. Most people took his friendliness good naturedly. When people resisted him he would sit patiently in front of them wagging his tail and just looking them in the eye. His unconditional love and patience for all of humanity soon won over even the most dog resistant person and he would receive the longed for pet and then run on his way to the next person. In Charley’s world there was no room for rejection. He assumed that with enough love (and time), the person would come around and they did. Whenever my fear of rejection blocks my passion and enthusiasm, I think of Charley and his dauntless spirit. I never saw him give up on anyone.

We buried this wonderful dog a few years ago. He was 13 years old. Charley lived his life with passion and enthusiasm for everything. For the four female dogs, Abby, Molly, Emma and Lucy, Charley was the center of their world. They all eagerly sought his attention and, when they received it, they would be so proud and happy. Even toward the end of his life, they would sit as close as possible, almost touching him where he lay sleeping. If he didn’t respond, they would gently paw him until at last he’d lift his head and groom their coats with his teeth. The serenity in each of their faces was beautiful to behold.

The four female dogs were in heat the last three weeks of his life. When Charley was a younger dog, these seasonal aromas would stop him from sleeping or eating. As an older dog he was still quite interested, but he also ate and slept. In the last three weeks of his life he was a weaker dog, yet he put his limited energy into loving and caring for the females. They would circle around him and he freely gave his passion and enthusiasm. Though too weak to actually mount them, he never stopped loving and giving until the very end.

As Barry and I were burying him, I realized that I will remember Charley for this love, passion, and constant enthusiasm right up until the end of his life. Whenever one of our pets die, or someone close to us, we always talk about their best qualities, and then commit to bringing those specific qualities into our own lives. Though my father had several handicaps towards the end of his life, almost total deafness, crippled back and weak heart, he kept on living life to the fullest until the day he died. He was always finding ways to help others and to bring joy into people’s lives. The day before he died suddenly at age 89, he had taken some of his home-made wooden toys to a preschool for disadvantaged children. He played with the children for about an hour, laughing and joking with them. They didn’t care that he couldn’t hear them.

How will you be remembered when you die? Will your children and family remember you as someone who was always working in the office or someone who was always on the phone at home doing business calls? Will you be remembered as someone who was often complaining, critical of others, self centered or watched too much TV? Or will you be remembered as someone who was generous with your time, going out of your way to love and care for others, kind, compassionate, joyful, spiritual, passionate and enthusiastic.

Seventeen years ago a very loving young man who was dying of AIDS attended one of our longer retreats. (He died two months after the retreat.) At one point in the week, he was sitting in the middle of the circle of people. He looked around at all of us and said, “You’re looking at me like I’m having an experience that you’re not going to have. We’re all going to die. This just happens to be my turn. The important thing is how we’ve lived our life with the amount of time we do have. I don’t want to be remembered as a man who died from AIDS. I want to be remembered as a man who loved until the very end.”

None of us know how much time we have left here on the earth. Besides trying to stay healthy, we can’t do much about when we will die. But we can do a lot about how we live and how we will be remembered. Perhaps it’s time to really reflect on how you want to be remembered and then live your life accordingly, allowing for more time to really open your heart to those who mean the most to you. Tell your partner, children, family and friends how much they mean to you. Love with passion and enthusiasm. When you are no longer on this earth, you will be remembered for your love.