Our Need for Acknowledgment and Blessing

There is a great need in every human being to be acknowledged and blessed by another person, especially their parent. People often strive to receive acknowledgment of who they are. When they do not receive acknowledgment or blessing, they can feel hopeless or unworthy.

In the children’s movie, “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs,” the boy, knowing that his town was in desperate need of food, creates a way for food to come from the sky. Everyone is grateful to him including the mayor of the city. However, the one person that he really wants to acknowledge him is his father. His father has never been able to communicate his love and acceptance to his son, so even in the face of the boy saving the city, he still complains that the food is too big or is falling down too heavy. In the movie you can see the boy shrivel up when his father cannot even acknowledge him for such a great thing.

My iPod Miracle: Confirming the Essential Goodness of Life

If we simply pay attention to all that happens to us throughout the day, we will be astounded by the love and care given to us every moment. But if we don’t pay attention, we can easily miss the sometimes disguised touch of the angels.

The other day was a perfect example. Joyce and I had just received not just one, but three communications of bad news. On top of that, we couldn’t even take our beloved walks together, special times where we can process most anything. Joyce’s knee pain prevented her from walking, so she had to get her daily exercise biking or swimming. I would have loved to join her, but our three goldens would be too disappointed. The walks are the highlight of their day.

Making your Heart a Safe Place

With the New Year upon us, we tend to put our attention upon changes and resolutions that will help us live a better life. Have you ever noticed that most New Year’s resolutions have to do with cleaning something or more discipline around maintaining the body? When Barry and I were in our thirties, we had a New Year’s gathering and about fifty people came. During this gathering, each person stood up and proclaimed their New Year’s resolution. Of those fifty people, forty, or 80% vowed to floss their teeth each night (perhaps the first person inspired all the others). Other popular vows were to lose weight, exercise more, and clear the clutter in the garage (we could use that one). All of these New Year’s vows are great, and my dentist would heartily agree. But have you ever heard someone say to you, “My New Year’s vow this year is to clear my heart and make it a safe place for all beings.”

Lying... Or Emotionally Unavailable

Dean showed up alone for his first marriage counseling appointment with me.

“What happened to Lorena?” I asked.

“She decided not to come. She’s fed up with my lying.”

“Okay,” I said. “Tell me how you lie to her.”

A Higher Plan for Your Life

We human beings try very hard to control our lives by careful planning and scheduling. And when things do not work out according to our well-made plans and schedules, we often feel disappointed, or even punished. And yet there is a higher plan at work.

I have talked with several young teachers who plan to get pregnant and have their babies the end of June so that they can begin their school year again in September. I listen to these carefully made plans, knowing that a baby has its own schedule. Perhaps the conception does not happen for six months, or the baby is three weeks early at the very busiest time of school. I smile when I hear such elaborate plans, knowing that life does not work on such a schedule, and that part of life on earth is to teach us to be flexible.

Life’s Flips: How Do We Respond When Things Go Wrong

Things can go wrong in the blink of an eye. One moment, all appears well. The next moment, everything can change. No matter how well we plan, we can’t protect ourselves from life’s upsets. One of my favorite Yiddish expressions: “Mann Tracht, und Gott Lacht.” (Man/woman plans, and God laughs.) It’s not what happens to us, but how we respond, that matters the most. We can respond with disappointment and anger, or we can look for the miracles and divine interventions.

 

The Power of Words to Heal or Hurt

Our words have a tremendous power to bring healing and strength to another person or to hurt in a very deep way. We should never underestimate the power we have to use our words for a positive effect on a person’s life or, in some cases, a lasting negative effect.

When I was growing up my parents loved me very much. My father loved me as much as any father could love a little girl. He played games, built a toy house and read to me each night before I went to sleep. But he didn’t like my sensitivity, especially my tears when I felt hurt. My father felt that my sensitivity and tears would stand in the way of my having a successful and happy life. Often I heard, “You must get over being so sensitive and getting hurt. It will stand in your way.” When I would get hurt and cry, I was sent to my room and again told to get over the feelings as they were not good. As a child I believed my father. I thought I was handicapped as much as someone who is blind or deaf. I didn’t know how to tell myself to stop feeling. And so the feelings came, sometimes with tears, and I felt ashamed of them.