Making Love to a Woman

I have spoken to many men who admit that sex is their way to love. The physical act of sex helps them to open their hearts to connect with their partners. Whereas many women need heart connection first so they can be open to sex. Many couples, therefore, are truly stuck. He wants sex in order to feel love. She wants love in order to enjoy sex.

Our Need for Acknowledgment and Blessing

There is a great need in every human being to be acknowledged and blessed by another person, especially their parent. People often strive to receive acknowledgment of who they are. When they do not receive acknowledgment or blessing, they can feel hopeless or unworthy.

In the children’s movie, “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs,” the boy, knowing that his town was in desperate need of food, creates a way for food to come from the sky. Everyone is grateful to him including the mayor of the city. However, the one person that he really wants to acknowledge him is his father. His father has never been able to communicate his love and acceptance to his son, so even in the face of the boy saving the city, he still complains that the food is too big or is falling down too heavy. In the movie you can see the boy shrivel up when his father cannot even acknowledge him for such a great thing.

My iPod Miracle: Confirming the Essential Goodness of Life

If we simply pay attention to all that happens to us throughout the day, we will be astounded by the love and care given to us every moment. But if we don’t pay attention, we can easily miss the sometimes disguised touch of the angels.

The other day was a perfect example. Joyce and I had just received not just one, but three communications of bad news. On top of that, we couldn’t even take our beloved walks together, special times where we can process most anything. Joyce’s knee pain prevented her from walking, so she had to get her daily exercise biking or swimming. I would have loved to join her, but our three goldens would be too disappointed. The walks are the highlight of their day.

Making your Heart a Safe Place

With the New Year upon us, we tend to put our attention upon changes and resolutions that will help us live a better life. Have you ever noticed that most New Year’s resolutions have to do with cleaning something or more discipline around maintaining the body? When Barry and I were in our thirties, we had a New Year’s gathering and about fifty people came. During this gathering, each person stood up and proclaimed their New Year’s resolution. Of those fifty people, forty, or 80% vowed to floss their teeth each night (perhaps the first person inspired all the others). Other popular vows were to lose weight, exercise more, and clear the clutter in the garage (we could use that one). All of these New Year’s vows are great, and my dentist would heartily agree. But have you ever heard someone say to you, “My New Year’s vow this year is to clear my heart and make it a safe place for all beings.”

Lying... Or Emotionally Unavailable

Dean showed up alone for his first marriage counseling appointment with me.

“What happened to Lorena?” I asked.

“She decided not to come. She’s fed up with my lying.”

“Okay,” I said. “Tell me how you lie to her.”