Making your Heart a Safe Place

With the New Year upon us, we tend to put our attention upon changes and resolutions that will help us live a better life. Have you ever noticed that most New Year’s resolutions have to do with cleaning something or more discipline around maintaining the body? When Barry and I were in our thirties, we had a New Year’s gathering and about fifty people came. During this gathering, each person stood up and proclaimed their New Year’s resolution. Of those fifty people, forty, or 80% vowed to floss their teeth each night (perhaps the first person inspired all the others). Other popular vows were to lose weight, exercise more, and clear the clutter in the garage (we could use that one). All of these New Year’s vows are great, and my dentist would heartily agree. But have you ever heard someone say to you, “My New Year’s vow this year is to clear my heart and make it a safe place for all beings.”

Lying... Or Emotionally Unavailable

Dean showed up alone for his first marriage counseling appointment with me.

“What happened to Lorena?” I asked.

“She decided not to come. She’s fed up with my lying.”

“Okay,” I said. “Tell me how you lie to her.”