Loving Your Inner Child: A Secret of True Happiness

For over forty years, Joyce and I have taught singles and couples to embrace their inner child as one of the key ways to live more fully from the heart and to have more fulfilling relationships. Today, looking over our archive of hundreds of articles, many of which address the inner child, I realized neither of us has dedicated a whole article to this vital topic. Yes, there are many books covering inner child work, but we have our own way of illuminating the basic principles.

Holding a Grudge: Drinking Poison and Expecting the Other Person to Die

Several years ago, I was in a group in which two of the individuals were having conflict. One person wanted resolution and the other did not. All of our best efforts at conflict resolution were of no use. The one individual did not want to budge from their position and were determined that they had done nothing wrong. During my experience in this group, I sat back and felt how this unresolved situation was affecting everyone. As I was observing others and feeling my own feelings, I suddenly remembered an experience from my childhood.

Show Affection in Public

It’s not enough to show love and affection when it’s just the two of you. Don’t ever hesitate to show your love in public as well. Okay, it doesn’t need to be overdone. If your loved one’s an introvert, you might embarrass her or him by gushing too much around other people. Just be sensitive to your partner’s feelings as much as your own.

The problem is usually on the other side, not enough public love and affection. Women as well as men often receive strong indoctrination against showing love. It’s too often viewed as a sign of weakness. I have to admit, I fell into this category when I was eighteen and newly in relationship with Joyce. I was embarrassed about showing love in public. I was sometimes even embarrassed about walking next to her. Once, we were walking down the hill from Hartwick College into the town of Oneonta in upstate New York. Joyce had a childlike bounce to her step, completely uninhibited and unashamed. I asked her to walk more like an adult (that is, an adult in my mind!). She refused and told me I needed to accept her just as she was. My response was to cross the street and keep pace with her from the other side of the street. Sometimes I wonder why she stayed with me.